


The story of life and death

by Spoopy__ghost



Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Comedy, M/M, idkwhatimdoing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-19
Updated: 2017-05-19
Packaged: 2018-11-02 14:09:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,579
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10946139
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Spoopy__ghost/pseuds/Spoopy__ghost
Summary: This is actuall bullshit the story will be a story but there is some random shiitA story of life and death told by yours truly as well as my dear partner in crime pepiinot the story is a long one and well it hopefully wont be shit. Sit back relax and enjoy this shitty show





	The story of life and death

**Author's Note:**

> Whoo hoo gay stuff

“Jazmyne...get your gay ass over here…..people want to listen to the storrryyyy” 

 

*loud sigh*

 

“I'm coming danny...chill.” 

 

“Sit down here….and uhhh i'll uhhhh.” 

 

“Danny im sitting down...get with the story.” 

 

“Okay...okay..how did it start ohhh yessss”

 

It all started when young yuri and victor went to god school…. wait no that's a lie they never went to school lmao okay wait…jazmyne..

 

“Jazmyne...you're looking at pictures at levi aren't you….” 

 

ԅ(º﹃ºԅ) ← jazmyne rn

 

“Tsk...no...me….no...lies...never…”

 

“you're in too deep (ﾉಠдಠ)ﾉ︵┻━┻”

 

“Danny the people annnnd the story.”

 

*jazmyne throws her phone*

 

“i don't need your sass i just need your support and you need to pay just as much attention as i...i have no clue what victor did i only followed yuri...pls help” 

 

“Stop with the puppy eyes...i'll help.”

 

“WHOO HOOOO 〜(꒪꒳꒪)〜”

 

*Danny has maracas*

 

“Danny where did get those”

 

“I pulled them out of my ass every gay has them jazmyne”

 

“I don't. ಥ◡ಥ”

 

*silent sobbing*

 

“Your only gay on sunday dear ღゝ◡╹)ノ♡”

 

“I WORSHIP SATAN ON WEEKENDS”

 

“SATAN WORSHIPS ME”

*jazmyne coughs”

 

“Gahhh so how do we start this.”

 

“I was thinking on how they met or should we do some character back story stuff.” 

 

“Hmm okay let's do some back ground not a bunch but ya know character development” 

 

“So i'll start with pork cutlet bae” 

 

“Then i'll do ice daddy.” 

 

“Yeee ∠( ᐛ 」∠)＿”

 

“Noice...take it away my gay love”

 

“Oui oui let's get this party started”

 

“The sun is not my roof but i will raise it. (☞ ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)☞”

 

(Psst it's me the author ^^^i'm up there too so is my dear companion pepiinot just a little fyi i'm jazmyne or aka spoopy ghost...danny is my dear pepiinot go check out her work °3´ also there is some *cough* inside jokes….) 

 

〜(꒪꒳꒪)〜

 

A few million years ago there was a little gay named yuri. 

 

(Gahh okay one more thing i'm gonna try to uhhh pretend to be danny lmao im gonna fail I LOVE YOU DANNY….hmmm lets see how bad this'll be hehehehehe eeeee) 

 

Yuri was a small anxiety filled little man who loved all of nature

 

“well i mean he was known as the god of life for a reason”

 

“Hay im not good with words”

 

“Love you danny.”

 

“>///< love you too” 

 

“Enough gay...now story”

 

“Okai okai” 

 

“Whats going on here”

 

“Hiya jj”

 

“Sup jazmyne”

 

*danny looks...suspicious ಠ益ಠ*

 

“Danny...no…..pls….no…..”

 

“DANNY YESSSS 〜(꒪꒳꒪)〜”

 

“Uhhhh”

 

“JJ run”

 

*le Canadian runs, danny takes deep breath*

 

“I'M THE KING JJ NO ONE COULD STOP ME THIS IS ….”

 

*jazmyne covers danny's mouth...she's still singing*

 

“Goddamnit dannyyy”

 

*jazmyne removes her hand*

 

“I'm going to hell” 

 

“Me too danny….me too”

 

“Now yuri”

 

“Yuri needs to skate on my face….like on my face.”

 

*danny motions her hand over her face*  
*jazmyne laughs and falls out chair*

 

“King jj more like king of my pussy”

 

*danny falls from her chair jazmyne is actually crying*

 

“I...cant….breath…..danny yu…..the...storyyyyy” 

 

“Oh fuk….yeahhh….”

 

“whats going on here” 

 

“Oh haaay yurio” 

 

“What's wrong with you two”

 

“Do you want that in a list of importance or chronological order” 

 

*danny starts laughing again, yurio rolled his eyes and walks away*

 

“IT WAS A SERIOUS QUESTION..(ಥ﹏ಥ)” 

 

*danny pats jazmynes shoulder* 

 

“We have a story to tell let's start l” 

 

*Sniff* “okay” *sniff* 

 

~fade to story~  
Yuri (or yuuri) sat and watched his children of life, which was well everything that lived. He pushed up his glasses and gave a small sigh as he saw a dark shadow hover over an old deer. The deer fell over and a short blond appeared out of the shadows. Yuri rolled his eyes and walked over to the short blond. 

 

“Are you the new soul keeper? Your look quite young.” you tilted his head as the short blond turned around. The blond rolled his eyes and leaned on a tree. The tree began to wither under the blonds touch. The blond clicked his tongue and nodded. Yuri sighed and called out for danny.  
~story stops liekyouknow buffering but only there is uhm not wifi here~

 

“∠( ᐛ 」∠)＿ ITS ME IM IN THE STORY IM TELLING WHOOOOOO HOOOOOOOO”

 

“Yes danny it is you” 

 

*the two are pointing to a small cloud with the story on it.* 

 

“Jazmyne i have a question.”

 

“Yes danny,” 

 

“So why the fuck is yurio such an angsty teen” 

 

 

Danny runs away for a second before jazmyne could answer. 

 

She returns throwing something in the air yelling 

 

“ALL HAIL SNART” 

 

Jazmyne face palms and looks at the newly formed cloud. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

“DANNY” 

*above is picture of baby jesus…AND he says that this is just....just….this shit is bullshit* 

 

“Danny what the hell” 

 

“Its snart….”

 

“No danny that's jes…

 

“SNART WE MUST HAIL THE GOD SNART.”

 

“Okaaayyyyy”  
*jazmyne holds back a laugh* *danny looks at uhm *cough* snart*

 

“Snart says this is bullshit.” 

 

“I agree with snart.”

 

*both start to giggle in agreement* 

 

*jazmyne begins to write down something in her notebook filled with gay ideas.*  
*jazmyne passes paper to danny*

 

“Jazmyne...what the fuck does sleci9 mean” 

 

“I forgot how to spell special.” 

 

“Sleci9…jazmyne....you wrote this”

 

“Well i was like hmmm how do you spell special well there has to be a 9 in there.” 

 

*danny dies from laughter* 

 

“Danny how did i mess up that bad.” 

 

“Idk what you mean sleci9 looks just like special.” 

 

*both cry from laughing* 

 

*jazmyne coughs* 

 

“Okay back to the story” 

 

“yeah … the thing we are here and that people are actually here for.”

 

“Yeah okay so where did i leave off”

 

“Yurio...being an angsty teen” 

 

“Ohhhh yeaaaaah” 

 

“So yuri asked me to show are new guest around...and well that...was...uh….interesting.” 

 

*flashes to le storyyy* 

 

-what is your name...i dont feel like calling you ‘soul keeper’ all day you know. 

 

Its yurio- 

 

-kinda like….

 

YEAH KINDA LIKE THE FUCKING YURI GOD OF LIFE AND SHIT- *yurio mumbles should've been me* 

 

-heh... uhh well this room is where you will stay while you collect souls. There is a gate like thing where people from your world can come here...uhm feel free to come and go as you please and uhm only 2 g..guest. 

 

Okay, i'm going to go back to my world…-

 

-do you have a girlfriend there or do you just hate it here.

 

My lover otabek is waiting my arrival...as well as the fucking apprentice jazmyne...you might like her she is just like you but only wears black.-

 

-i wear black

 

Hun you're literally a rainbow…-

 

*danny is wearing a rainbow unicorn onesie because why the actual fuck not*

 

-okay fair point

 

Maybe victor will bring her  
over when he visits-

 

DANNYYYY

 

-COMING YURI 

 

Danny looked over and yurio was gone… danny walked toward yuri who was sweating like crazy and pacing around the room. 

 

daniella do you know WHO is coming to VISIT next this weekend…….~

 

-im gonna guess...and say...lord vi

 

VICTOR...i may be just a powerful as him but he is my role model….he used to rule both realms…- 

 

-my lord i know the story….*story pauses and jazmyne pops up on the screen* 

 

“HALT, it jazmyne danny forgot to tell you or uhm we forgot to tell you. But yuri is new to this job as a god and stuff….before yuri victor ruled life and death..yuri looks up to victor and well let's say there is a shit ton of pictures in his room. Anyway at the time danny was you know a good friend of yuris and i was helping victor with all the balance of life and death shit...i hated ever living and dying moment...so did victor so he gave up the role of life...he became distant and only went out on occasion. He sen people to collect his soul from life and well he did nothing. It was very stressful on my part but we will get into what he does when it's my turn to tell you more about our dear victor. Anyway DANNY IT'S ALL YOU MY DEAR.” 

 

“ yes deeply sorry for casually slipping past that, back to the story.

 

°°°°°°INTERMISSION°°°°°°

͡° ) Don’t.  
͜ʖ ͡° ) Stop.  
͡° ͜ʖ ͡° ) Me.  
( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡° ) Now.  
Don’t stop me…  
‘cause I’m having a good time ᕕ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡° )ᕗ HAVING A GOOD TIME ᕕ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡° )ᕗᕕ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡° )ᕗᕕ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡° )ᕗᕕ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡° )ᕗᕕ( ͡°͜ʖ ͡° )ᕗᕕ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡° )ᕗᕕ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡° )ᕗᕕ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡° )ᕗᕕ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡° )ᕗ 

 

¯\\_(ツ)_/¯  
End issionintermission

 

*jamyne checks phone….* 

 

“Danny i gots to go something happened in the death place i'll talk to you later...finish the story pls” 

 

“Hun noooo” 

 

*jazmyne opens door and there is a screaming yurio and a chris crying* 

 

“Uhhh danny i might not be back as soon as i thought…” 

 

*danny nods* 

 

“Well time to kill some bitches oops i mean uhhhhh not die” 

 

“JAZMYNE WHAT THE FUCK”

 

“LOVE YOU” 

 

*jazmyne walks out the door danny looks at the story cloud.* 

 

“Welp i guess i could actually tell yuris side of the story.” 

 

DANNY I NEED ASSISTANCE SHIT HIT THE FAN- 

 

-COMING YURI.

 

( welp time to actually wright this story heheheheheh wellllll ill telk you yalls laterrrrr)

**Author's Note:**

> hehehe well as you can see the story is on...a ...long term intermission long term i mean a week a week i mean a week in jazmyns busyness days week so actually about a month lmao will get back to this as soon as i het of my lazy ass and do it   
> Love yall


End file.
